


Of harsh cacophony and soft melodies

by Toxic_Essence



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Comforting Phil Lester, Dan plays the piano, Depression, Domestic, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Dan Howell, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Reference Bullying, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Insomnia, Light Angst, No Smut, Past Suicide Attempt, Piano, References to Depression, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sleepy Cuddles, They watch the sun rise and drink hot chocolate :)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 10:02:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19423714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toxic_Essence/pseuds/Toxic_Essence
Summary: There're bruises under your eyesI can hear your criesI know you haven't slept these past few nights.What's keeping you up this time?Is it the pain?Or the thoughts telling you to go somewhere far, far away?-(In which Dan thinks too much, and Phil knows exactly how to comfort him.)





	Of harsh cacophony and soft melodies

**Author's Note:**

> Writing practice :)

If you asked any of his friends, they'd all tell you that he has an affinity for music. That he could play any of the classics with a precision that could’ve outshone even the original composers.

If you asked Phil, however, he would've said that it was an act to keep up appearances. Phil knew Dan better than everyone else, because no one else was there to witness piano keys being slammed at three in the morning, or to hear the cacophony that followed. Because no one else got to hear the sobs that rang out in unison with the murdering of music.

He was the only one who ever heard the calm that would last all but four seconds before a single note chimed out, and Phil's closest friend, or boyfriend, or whatever they were, would accompany the note by weaving sad words into lyrics with his softest voice that would break every few words because he was still crying. It was on nights like these that Phil accepted he wouldn't be getting any sleep. He didn't care. All that mattered to him was that Dan not be alone.

So when he was awoken by the first harsh notes at 2:42am, he rubbed his eyes free of sleep and slowly trudged into the living room, finding Dan with his shoulders hunched and head bowed at the piano. Quietly, he made his way over to the brunette, who looked impossibly small considering his physical size.

Dan always felt guilt trump his mind above all else whenever Phil would comfort him on nights like these. He felt bad that he had woken the other man up, but he'd never deny that he appreciated the arms that wrapped around him, and the soft, soothing words that flowed from the older man’s mouth in an effort to relieve his inner turmoil.

Dan's mind often got the better of him on nights he'd spend staying up contemplating the otherwise meaningless questions of his existence. It was when his thoughts turned to the finality of death, to the vastness of the universe and therefore his utter unimportance, that his skin started crawling, his lungs started constricting, and his head fucking hurt. Memories of his past consumed him, memories from a time when he'd been fully convinced that the best road to take in life was the one that lead quickly and directly out of it.

He still remembered waking up the next morning, the pill bottle uncapped on his night stand but the pills themselves still inside the bottle untouched.

He remembered feeling like he was being suffocated by life itself.

Dan remembered getting out of bed and going to school, acting like nothing was wrong and enduring the inevitable bullying.

He took up piano shortly after he met Phil, having had a love for the instrument his entire life but never the chance to learn to play. He quickly took to the melodies and tunes created by old masters, recreating them on piano keys of his own with natural skill that only became more lovely with practice.

Dan found that the sound would throw a lifeline out to him in his mind whenever he was drowning in his thoughts. His frustration with himself was what turned soft melodies into the harsh banging of piano keys in the earliest hours of the morning.

The cacophonies he created were what drew Phil out of his slumber and into the living room every few nights, and Dan quickly found that while the sounds he punched out may be a lifeline, Phil was his anchor. Regardless of the time, or even if they'd had a fight the previous day, the older man would, without fail, find Dan and embrace him, consoling his mind with words of comfort.

Phil would wait patiently for Dan to calm down, to play his songs and dry his tears and get his breathing back to normal. He'd sit with the younger brown eyed boy and hold him as they watched the sunrise, whispering words of encouragement and reminders of why Dan was important, how he mattered, and how he was loved. Phil would get up slowly, giving Dan the chance to pull him back if he needed the extra comfort, the extra contact, before he made his way into their kitchen to make hot chocolate for the both of them.

It was usually around seven in the morning that they'd finish their hot chocolate and Phil would gather their mugs and dump them in the sink before leading Dan back into bed. He knew the brunette didn't always fall asleep, but more often than not he did, and that's what was important. Regardless, he'd always hold Dan close and get him to relax. If they didn't get out of bed until late in the afternoon, it was nobody else's problem but their own, and they rarely cared.

Dan, for his part, was just glad to have someone replace the cacophony that had found a home in his mind with soft melodies and “I love you’s.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh look at that I wrote something happy for once.


End file.
